Have You Ever Been In Love?

And yes, I hear Celine Dion in my head right now.

I have never been in love. Unless you count my decade-long relationship with a vodka bottle as love, which, I suppose, could be valid. But the fact remains that I have never fallen in love. Once, maybe, in high school, I fell victim to unrequited love, but I was young, he was straight, and I moved on rather quickly.

So, why am I writing about this? 

A part of me wonders if many alcoholics and addicts have the same story as me: they were simply too busy nurturing and consoling their addiction to make time for an actual human being. Sure, we'd use other human beings to meet our needs, but love and care was reserved solely for our substance of choice. Our constant, our companion. I was co-dependent with a vodka bottle, and untangling myself from it was the best thing I ever did for myself.

Yet, I still remain single, without love. And honestly, now, it seems so unimportant to me, but at the same time, that somehow feels wrong? Is it the media, tricking me into thinking I am less than because I'm not married or in a long-term relationship? Is this your experience? Please lemme know!


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