Discovering My Vision

That Moment When I Stumbled Upon My Life's Purpose

These last couple of years have gifted me the most amazing epiphanies and insights, “light bulb” moments that have truly altered my perception of myself and the world around me. I am beyond grateful I was able to put the bottle aside and focus on myself, otherwise these dizzying realizations may never have come to fruition. One by one, they gathered in my subconscious, quietly and methodically creating a vision that would end up blowing my mind.

What is this vision, you may ask? It’s quite simple, really: my vision is to build a home. A safe space of my own, in which I may grow old and write my stories. A sturdy haven, where I may find respite and appreciation, where I may stay in tune with the best vibrations life has ready for me.

At first, I was surprised when I realized this was my ultimate dream, my goal above anything else, my vision. Surely, I’d want to write a New York Times Best Seller, or sell my story to Netflix. Or meet a super handsome, super-rich Latino who would whisk me around the world on his yacht. Or sell a million copies of my book and start a nationally syndicated talk show. Aren’t these aspirations more aligned with the person I thought I was?

Oh, there it is: the person I thought I was. For you see, none of that is really me, none of that is what actually keeps me sober, day after day. None of that truly matters. There was a time in my life when I thought it did, but I now see life through a different looking glass. A brighter, happier looking glass.

And I realize what a home means to me. At the end of the day, what I find most important in life, is the love of myself, my family, and my friends. Without any of that love, I am lost. And this I know for sure, after depriving myself of that love for so many lonely, dark years. 

For me, a home is a testament, a physical representation, of that love. A home tells me I’ve put myself first, my needs, wants, and desires, first. A home tells me I have succeeded in forgiving and loving myself. A home tells me I am safe, I am loved, and full of love to give. A home tells me I am worth everything good and right life has to offer. A home tells me I no longer have to be ashamed and afraid, for I have risen as a stronger man. A home tells me many things, but perhaps most importantly, a home tells me I am enough. Anything else is simply icing on the cake.

For after all my travels, and all of my struggles, I realize the only thing I truly wish for, is a space to share that love with my family and friends. A space to cherish one another. A space to live a full life, so I may one day look over it with pride and awe.

So go, try a million things, listen to your soul, and discover your vision! Once you do, I encourage you to latch on and hold tight, for it’s bound to take you on an exhilarating ride! Have fun!

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