Your Friends Still Love You

BFF's Have Healing Powers, Yo!

I turned 35 yesterday and celebrated, hands down, the most rewarding birthday of my adult life. Even as I write this post I am still glowing and dizzy from a profound sense of nostalgia and joy. I awoke this morning so thankful for true friendships and the power they wield. Please understand, until very recently, I thought I'd lost this is my life, that I'd squandered it for a few drops of the sauce.

You see, I was very lucky in college to meet a core group of friends who have stuck by my side through thick and thin. They are my Drury crew, and I would not be the person I am today were it not for them. Four guys, one girl, and a million memories.

During the reign of my alcoholism, however, I closed myself off from the world, including my Drury crew, despite their best efforts to stay present in my life. But this is what we do, right? We shut out those who love us most, because their message rings the loudest and we don't want to hear it. I know I sure didn't. Anything that got in the way of my drinking was immediately vanquished. I only had time for vodka, duh!

It was a bittersweet feeling, really, when I realized I had ceased contact with all my friends. I wanted them in my life, I wanted to hang out with them, but I didn't want them to know how bad I'd gotten or try to help me. I wanted them, but I wanted them to leave me alone to drink. It was all very dark and very confusing, but it is a valid existence. If this is your current state, do not diminish or demean yourself or your emotions. You've done nothing wrong, rather you've simply given in to your disease. Now would be a great time to break free of those chains and call your ol' bestie. Trust me, it'll change your life.

I suppose that's why it's been all the sweeter, rekindling my friendships with my old crew. Laughing over memories or phrases while revisiting our college stomping grounds. It's literally stopped me in my tracks with gratitude. How could I have gone without this all those years? How could I have let these amazing people slip away from my daily life? Oh, that's right. I was a fall down, slap yourself around drunk who lost himself. It's not all that surprising I lost everyone else, too.

Which is what happens, dude, when you give your life over to addiction. But it doesn't make you a bad person, a waste of space, or a piece of poo poo. Life threw us one helluva curveball and it's our job to acclimate, to defy the odds, to grow bright and shine in spite of the darkness. It can be done, you are strong enough and your friends do still love you. Believe me, they do. With such a ferocity that it will leave you stunned and borderline weepy. Or maybe that's just me and you'll keep your shizz together better.

Take a breath, call your friends. They don't care what you've done, only that you're okay and ready to repair the damage you've created. Most likely, they'll shrug it off and start gabbing like nothing even happened. This is friendship. This is love. Claim it just as you did that bottle or sack and you'll be golden, kid!

Smile at the clouds, and have fun until next time!